18/JUL/2020 @ Sri Mayapur Dham, India

Today third day of His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's smarana utsava. I went up to Guru Maharaja... He asked me, "What do you want?" I said, "Guru Maharaja, as you have completed Passing of Haridasa Thakura's pastime. So today evening, what would you to continue?" And Guru Maharaja said, "We will continue the drama!" Then, I took leave from him and went to do my work.

And around 10am Radharamana Sevaka Pr called me as there waz a Zoom meeting about His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's samadhi, and where it would be, and what will be rules of Government on that day, etc was discussed with Guru Maharaja. Also, there was a discussion about Vaisnava samadhis. The meeting went up to 11:20am. Then Guru Maharaja took his pre-lunch Prasada, and joined a smriti-sabha of disciples and well-wishers from Australasia. Maha Varaha Pr said, one disciple very much thanked Guru Maharaja for his continuous prayers for Srila Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja! " like this there were question and answers etc.

Then in the evening Guru Maharaja took part in the TOVP-E presentations and meeting from 5 to 7 pm. After this meeting, he attended the Smarana utsava of Maharaja via Mayapur.tv. Guru Maharaja was listening to every Disciples' glorification of Maharaja and cheering, and shouting in happiness, crying, weeping, etc. And, at 8pm suppose to start the Caitanya Lila class. And I went and informed Guru Maharaja. And he was ready to come, so I went to the glass room and prepared for the class and waiting for Guru Maharaja, but he didn't come. Then I went to see Guru Maharaja, he was still watching the program, and Guru Maharaja said, "Last speaker Vaninatha!" He was listening to Vani natha Pr (Maharaja's personal cook). Guru Maharaja was very much encouraging their glorification. It was almost 8:30pm. Bhakti Vijaya Bhagavata Maharaja came and asked, "Where is Guru Maharaja? Today no class?" I said, "Guru Maharaja will come after hearing Vaninatha Pr!" And finally at 8:40pm. I went and told Guru Maharaja, "It is 8:40pm! It is too late for the class!" And I saw all the servants sitting with Guru Maharaja and everyone mesmerized in hearing Maharaja's pastimes. And, finally Guru Maharaja came to give class. But, still he was not able to come out of the separation. Guru Maharaja was telling that, Bhakti Caru Maharaja teaching us what the separation pain is.

I am not much with Guru Maharaja, but I am just keeping a note of what is happening during my presence. If I get any information then I will add that also. (Syama Rasika dasa - Personal Diary)

9/JUL/2020 - Sri Mayapur Dhama, India

Today third day of His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's smarana utsava. I went up to Guru Maharaja... He asked me, "What do you want?" I said, "Guru Maharaja, as you have completed Passing of Haridasa Thakura's pastime. So today evening, what would you to continue?" And Guru Maharaja said, "We will continue the drama!" Then, I took leave from him and went to do my work.

And around 10am Radharamana Sevaka Pr called me as there waz a Zoom meeting about His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's samadhi, and where it would be, and what will be rules of Government on that day, etc was discussed with Guru Maharaja. Also, there was a discussion about Vaisnava samadhis. The meeting went up to 11:20am. Then Guru Maharaja took his pre-lunch Prasada, and joined a smriti-sabha of disciples and well-wishers from Australasia. Maha Varaha Pr said, one disciple very much thanked Guru Maharaja for his continuous prayers for Srila Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja! " like this there were question and answers etc.

Then in the evening Guru Maharaja took part in the TOVP-E presentations and meeting from 5 to 7 pm. After this meeting, he attended the Smarana utsava of Maharaja via Mayapur.tv. Guru Maharaja was listening to every Disciples' glorification of Maharaja and cheering, and shouting in happiness, crying, weeping, etc. And, at 8pm suppose to start the Caitanya Lila class. And I went and informed Guru Maharaja. And he was ready to come, so I went to the glass room and prepared for the class and waiting for Guru Maharaja, but he didn't come. Then I went to see Guru Maharaja, he was still watching the program, and Guru Maharaja said, "Last speaker Vaninatha!" He was listening to Vani natha Pr (Maharaja's personal cook). Guru Maharaja was very much encouraging their glorification. It was almost 8:30pm. Bhakti Vijaya Bhagavata Maharaja came and asked, "Where is Guru Maharaja? Today no class?" I said, "Guru Maharaja will come after hearing Vaninatha Pr!" And finally at 8:40pm. I went and told Guru Maharaja, "It is 8:40pm! It is too late for the class!" And I saw all the servants sitting with Guru Maharaja and everyone mesmerized in hearing Maharaja's pastimes. And, finally Guru Maharaja came to give class. But, still he was not able to come out of the separation. Guru Maharaja was telling that, Bhakti Caru Maharaja teaching us what the separation pain is.

I am not much with Guru Maharaja, but I am just keeping a note of what is happening during my presence. If I get any information then I will add that also. (Syama Rasika dasa - Personal Diary)

08/JUL/2020 @ Sri Mayapur Dhama, India

Today third day of His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's smarana utsava. I went up to Guru Maharaja... He asked me, "What do you want?" I said, "Guru Maharaja, as you have completed Passing of Haridasa Thakura's pastime. So today evening, what would you to continue?" And Guru Maharaja said, "We will continue the drama!" Then, I took leave from him and went to do my work.

And around 10am Radharamana Sevaka Pr called me as there was a Zoom meeting about His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja's samadhi, and where it would be, and what will be rules of Government on that day, etc was discussed with Guru Maharaja. Also, there was a discussion about Vaisnava samadhis. The meeting went up to 11:20am. Then Guru Maharaja took his pre-lunch Prasada, and joined a smriti-sabha of disciples and well-wishers from Australasia. Maha Varaha Pr said, one disciple very much thanked Guru Maharaja for his continuous prayers for Srila Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja! " like this there were question and answers etc.

Then in the evening Guru Maharaja took part in the TOVP-E presentations and meeting from 5 to 7 pm. After this meeting, he attended the Smarana utsava of Maharaja via Mayapur.tv. Guru Maharaja was listening to every Disciples' glorification of Maharaja and cheering, and shouting in happiness, crying, weeping, etc. And, at 8pm suppose to start the Caitanya Lila class. And I went and informed Guru Maharaja. And he was ready to come, so I went to the glass room and prepared for the class and waiting for Guru Maharaja, but he didn't come. Then I went to see Guru Maharaja, he was still watching the program, and Guru Maharaja said, "Last speaker Vaninatha!" He was listening to Vani natha Pr (Maharaja's personal cook). Guru Maharaja was very much encouraging their glorification. It was almost 8:30pm. Bhakti Vijaya Bhagavata Maharaja came and asked, "Where is Guru Maharaja? Today no class?" I said, "Guru Maharaja will come after hearing Vaninatha Pr!" And finally at 8:40pm. I went and told Guru Maharaja, "It is 8:40pm! It is too late for the class!" And I saw all the servants sitting with Guru Maharaja and everyone mesmerized in hearing Maharaja's pastimes. And, finally Guru Maharaja came to give class. But, still he was not able to come out of the separation. Guru Maharaja was telling that, Bhakti Caru Maharaja teaching us what the separation pain is. 

I am not much with Guru Maharaja, but I am just keeping a note of what is happening during my presence and interactions for my future memory. If I get any information from other servants then I will add that also here. (Syama Rasika dasa - Personal Diary)

7/JUL/2020 - Sri Mayapur, India

Guru Maharaja very much missing his dear Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja very much. His separation makes Guru Maharaja more and more make him remember him.

Today morning Maha Varaha Pr and team pit up the newly arrived hospital bed for Guru Maharaja. It seems it is very comfortable for for Guru Maharaja - compared to the previous old bed. As Guru Maharaja was complaining about the discomfort. But, due to this Lockdown we were not able to get it on time. But, Madhava Kanta Pr made a endeavor and got this bed from Mumbai. Somehow, by Lord's arrangement one bed order got cancelled. And this was given to us. Due to Covid-19 it is extreme difficulty to get any medical things.

Today morning Guru Maharaja address Malaysia devotees - who organized His Holiness Bhakti Caru Maharaja's smriti sabha. And after that Guru Maharaja addressed the devotees over Zoom about Bhakti Caru Maharaja and answered their questions, and also listened to their glorification.

Prasanna Gauranga Pr (Guru Maharaja's cook) asked Guru Maharaja that, he will prepare some items for Bhakti Caru Maharaja to offer this evening. And Guru Maharaja asked, what is he planning to cook. And he said, "I will make a Calzone, sweets." And Guru Maharaja asked him, "How do you make Calzone?" He replied, "I will make with wheat flour, and stuff with olives, etc."

And Guru Maharaja was happy yo hear, and he made it and brought to show to Guru Maharaja, by seeing those offerings Guru Maharaja was in very deep ecstasy started to weep in separation from Maharaja. And Guru Maharaja personally touched it and send it for Maharaja's offerings. 

When I came for the class, Prasanna Pr shared this with me. And Subhanga Govinda Pr said, "Guru Maharaja was continuously crying the whole evening listening to the glorification of Bhakti Caru Maharaja happening in Prabhupada Samadhi Mandir. And almost three and half hours he was not able to bare this separation."

 Guru Maharaja gave class on Passing of Srila Haridasa Thakura's pastimes from Caitanya Caritamrita, Antya-lila. Three days back when he heard the news just before his Caitanya Lila class, he was like hit by a thunder. He couldn't digest this news. That evening, it was total silence, when Maha Varaha Pr got the news from Guru Gauranga Pr (BCSM) that Maharaja left this world. He immediately ran to Guru Maharaja and informed him. At that time, devotees were reading Bhagavad-gita recitation for Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja. And Maha Varaha Pr was trying to communicate this to Bhakti Purusottama Swami Maharaja, who was in yhr Gita recitation. And, when he got this message he immediately came up to the Lotus building. And Guru Maharaja asked to call Subheksana Pr (MAC) chairman, Guru Maharaja asked to call Bhakti Vidyapurna Maharaja to come and guide in this situation. Controlling all his emotions Guru Maharaja taking the responsibility as a head of the family/society instructed the managers, what they have to do. Then immediate MAC meeting was called for. And in that, Jananivasa Pr, Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami Maharaja, Gauranga Prema Swami Maharaja, Bhakti Purusottama Swami Maharaja every one participated. Guru Maharaja joined through Zoom and decided that, as a first step, they will call the devotees and assemble them in temple, and different seniors will first pacify the devotees with the philosophy and glories of Maharaja.

And Guru Maharaja then addressed the devotees along with Jananivasa Pr, Subhag Swami Maharaja, Bhakti Vidyapurna Maharaja, Bhakti Vigna Vinasa Narasimha Maharaja, Bhakti Purusottama Swami Maharaja. And after this meeting somewhat everyone felt little better in this chaotic situation. Everyone's words given a strong mental support.

Before this meeting, Maha Varaha Pr connected Guru Gauranga Pr (BCS) over phone, and he was crying and was talking to Guru Maharaja. He thanked Guru Maharaja for all his help and support. He calls Guru Maharaja as Acaryapada! He said about the passing of Maharaja, there was a devotee Prana Govinda Pr who was there next to Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja and he was reading different prayers like Gajedra Moksa, Brahma Samhita etc. And when chanted Panca-tattva pranama Maharaja had bright smiling face. So, he was also telling that initially there was discussion to bring Maharaja's vapu to Ujjain. But, due to Government restrictions they couldn't get permission. But Mamata Banerji's Government being very supportive and understanding the culture of Bengal tradition. They given permission. So, Maharaja's samadhi will be made in Mayapur. We all felt that, this is Lord Panca-tattva's arrangement, that Maharaja's samadhi will be made in Mayapur.

And, Maha Varaha Pr received a call from Pundarikaksa Govinda Pr, Juhu, Mumbai. He said, when a marble company heard the news about Maharaja's disappearance, where Maharaja purchased marble for Ujjain temple constructions, they came forward and offered the service to give marbles for Maharaja's Samadhi. And Pundarika Pr said, since I worked with Maharaja, I know his taste in selecting marbles. So, please give me this Seva of constructing the samadhi of Maharaja in Mayapur.

Like this that evening was unforgettable in the pages of ISKCON. 

I didn't write for quite long time, so I am mixing up what happened on 4th evening here in this diary. 

Today, after finishing the Caitanya Lila class, Guru Maharaja was going to his room. He asked me, "What do you think?" I said, "I think you are tired, you need rest." He laughed and said, "Yes! I am tired." And I said, "You mentioned that, while Srila Prabhupada left this world, he couldn't leave in the presence of Bhakti Caru Swami Maharaja, Tamala Krsna Maharaja, Bhavananada Pr. And in the same way, Srila Prabhupada sent you to Mayapur that day morning!" Guru Maharaja said, "Yes! Srila Prabhupada doesn't want to leave this world, in front of everyone." It takes some more days or weeks for Guru Maharaja to come out of it. (Personal Diary - Syama Rasika dasa)