23/APR/2018 - Global Hospital, Chennai

(23/APR/2018 - Global Hospital, Chennai) I felt that, by seeing Guru Maharaja going to ICU. And being helpless. Something like my heart has become stone.

When they were doing some teats, I was there and helping - they were taking blood, Guru Maharaja was suffering, and I was wiping blood. Felt that, I am really become stone hearted. Feel like running away, leaving all these, it is extremely painful to see Guru Maharajs in front my eyes, suffering and you can't help him.

That time I thought - I don't know where will I go in my next life and suffer for being present in this situation. When, he say, "Help! Help!" We couldn't do anything. I felt, why I accepted him as my Guru; why he accepted me as his disciple? Why am I came in contact with this personality? I was asking like this many questions. He was not 100% conscious. When I was thinking this way, suddenly he grabbed my hand very tightly. When I saw, him - his eyes were closed and head was down, and trying to take his oxygen, and no response. But, his hold was tight. It was like answering back to my thoughts, "You may think thousands - but, I am holding you!" I still believe that the Supreme Lord will listen to our prayers and allow our Guru Maharajs to be with us with his complete health.

Just typing these lines sitting outside the ICU. (Personal diary - Syama Rasika dasa)

23/APR/2018 - Health Report by Maha Varaha dasa

Dear God-family; disciples and well-wishers of Guru Maharaja 

Please accept our humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

After admitting Guru Maharaj in the ICU at 7 pm last night, he had difficulties in breathing with his own effort, so with the concern of all the doctors he was intubated (on ventilator support) in the middle of the night.

That helped him to stabilise his parameters and he slept well throughout the night. At about 9 in the morning they started weaning him off the ventilator. So now Guru Maharaj is breathing on his own. 

In the past it was a big challenge for Guru Maharaj to breath on his own post extubation though right now he is doing relatively fine. So we humbly request devotees to keep praying sincerely and intensely so that Guru Maharaj could overcome this great challenge. 

Other vital parameters are stable and satisfying. Fever has subsided. He is conscious. We are waiting for the investigation report to come. He is still in the ICU, where he will be kept for the next 24 hours for close observation.

Just now Guru Maharaj has started chanting his rounds.

On behalf of Guru Maharaja’s Health Team & JPS Seva Committee, 

Maha Varaha Das

21/APR/2018 - Chennai, India

(21/APR/2018 - Chennai) In my last diary few things I forgot to mention, now I remembered. When Guru Maharaj met Vraja Gauranga Prabhu, and he requested Guru Maharaj to come to Brisbane - whenever his health permits. Then, Guru Maharaj immediately asked Maha Varaha Prabhu, "Meanwhile, we wait here for Liver - why don't we go from here to Malaysia and be there for some time, and then go to Australia and come back?" And Maha Varaha Prabhu also was seriously thinking about that proposal. As from Chennai it is less than 4 hrs. So Guru Maharaj always ready to travel and preach in any condition of his health.

And I got an opportunity talk with Guru Maharaj last evening... And Guru Maharaj asked about Archives, and his Publication department, about their maintenance, funds, etc. He gave some instruction on Caitanya Book. And he was very much worried about Western devotees who are staying Mayapur especially about their Prasadam, as the cost of the Prasadam is not affordable for the residence western devotees and also, it is all spicy. And I was discussing about the plan of "Vaisnava Seva" - feeding Vaisnavas for free or minimum charge. And Guru Maharaj was very much encouraging, and he said, "Food should not be an anxiety, in Mayapur devotees should do devotional service without anxiety." And was discussing different things about it. And when Maha Varaha Prabhu heard this, he was very wanted to start as soon as possible in Mayapur and feed vaisnavas.

Today also, we joined in our afternoon shift. I was feeding Guru Maharaj, he was not able to eat, he was feeling very full. And he took two Capatis. Another day, he asked Prasanna Prabhu to prepare Pasta and he took pasta. Guru Maharaj said, it taste something to eat. Like this he was not feeling any appetite to eat. And somehow we manage to feed him with Subji, etc., still Guru Maharaj was not able to take.

And we made him to rest. And i told him, please take nice rest. So that evening you can give class energetically. But, in the evening Guru Maharaj didn't wake up. Normally Guru Maharaj won't sleep more than 1:30hrs. But today he was too tired that, he slept until 6:30pm. And he woke up, but still was laying on the bed. We told Guru Maharaj that, you can wake up at 7:15pm. So, please take rest. But, he couldn't sleep. Today also, I got a chance to speak with Guru Maharaj.

I asked him to shed light on his projects and his desires about how those project should go. And what is the mission and vision of Guru Maharaj's each and every project. And how disciples and followers of Guru Maharaj can take part and complete it in present or in future. Guru Maharaj, said, he will talk on his projects and vision. Then he talked about Caitanya book and Gaura Mandala Darshan Book.

Then he said, "Srila Prabhupada told me to take care of his God-brothers and my god-brothers. But right now: there is no disciple of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura is in this planet. But, I am helping my god-brothers. Same way my disciples also should take care of my Godbrothers - and their Godbrothers."

Like this Guru Maharaj was sharing few things. Then he got up and said, "I want to go and do Arati to Gaura Nitai!" Then Subhanga Govinda Prabhu said, "We will do Gaura Arati today."

And Akarshaka Prabhu came and paid his obeisances. Guru Maharaj saw him and said, "Akarshaka, he is equal to four iron man." And we all laughed. But, Guru Maharaj was very serious - and he said, "He is very strong man, who can eat 100 puchkas." And everyone laughed and Guru Maharaj also laughed. Then Guru Maharaj said, "If we have a war between China and India. Akarshaka will win China in Puchka competition." And we said that, "May be we will setup some puchka stall in the border of Arunacala Pradesh and China and will put Akarshaka Pr there." And Guru Maharaj was laughing and laughing.

Suddenly Guru Maharaj asked, Akarshaka... "So what is your realisation today?" Then he said what he listened today from Srila Prabhupada's lecture - how people are very attached to their body, and they don't want leave their body." Like this, he also explained about few other things, and Guru Maharaj was acting according to his talk and making fun.

Then finally, I said to Guru Maharaj - from East London Aravinda Krishna Prabhu and Yamuneavari Mataji is here to meet you. And immediately Guru Maharaj got up and got ready. And came to the Deity room and offered Arati. Prasanna Gauranga Prabhu sang Gaura Arati and Guru Maharaj did Arati.

And then Guru Maharaj came out and met with the couple. They have Guru Maharaj a report about Bangaladesh Safari and how devotees are very much enthused to go to Bangladesh again. Bhakti-Vriksa Safari. And in this way, they gave report about Bhakti-Vriksa preaching in Europe. Then they also requested Guru Maharaj about Gaura Nitai Deity for Europe preaching. About Nitai Pada Kamala, and Mayapur Candra were explained Guru Maharaj. And how Srila Prabhupada wanted Mayapur Candra in his room for worship.

Then they asked a question about Sraaddha ceremony for departed souls. And Guru Maharaj said, "It is all given in Srila Prabhupada books. And it is depends on Varna." And Maha Varaha Prabhu explained it in detail to them.

Then, they gave report about How Cudamani Mataji organized this year Vyasa-Puja celebrations in London. And she will undergo an open heart surgery - then Guru Maharaj gave a Narasimha Oil for her. Guru Maharaj enquirer about her health, how many blocks etc.

Then there was a discussion about JSSS. Guru Maharaj appreciated Mayapur JSSS very much, that they are doing it every week. And, Aravinda Krishna Pr asked about it, and Guru Maharaj said, "At least once a month disciples should do JSSS." Like this many instructions he gave to them and blessed them. As they are leaving tomorrow back to London.

Then Guru Maharaj went to his room, while going Yamunesvari Mataji asked for some more instructions on Guru Maharaj's projects. Then Guru Maharaj said, "I thought to speak on it today. But, due to my tiredness. I didn't." I also did a recording over phone. Like this the evening went very enlivening in the association of Guru Maharaj. (Personal Diary - Syama Rasika Dasa)

20/APR/2018 - Chennai, India

(20/APR/2018 - Chennai, India) Last Night they did tapping and drained few litres of fluid. And today morning Guru Maharaj repeatedly said that, "I want to go back. Get me discharged." Seeing Guru Maharaj's continuous request, and with doctors' permission Guru Maharaj got discharged from the hospital around 12:30pm. And reached 1:30pm. 

And we all were very happy that with 24hrs Guru Maharaj came back from the Hospital. But, Guru Maharaj was very weak and tired, as it is usual after tapping. He took his lunch and went to bed for rest. I was feeding him lunch, it was very much hard to make him chew, and feed him as he was terribly tired.

Shyama Madhusudan Prabhu started to read Caitanya Caritamrita. Which Guru Maharaj said once, "It is my only pain killer!" He started to read about the meeting of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Raya Ramananda and their conversations. It was simply nectar, Guru Maharaj was enjoying to hear the Nectar.

After his lunch, Guru Maharaj went to bed to take his afternoon rest. As he was very tired, Maha Varaha Prabhu said, "Don't wake him up. For next two days there won't be my class, pool exercise, or Physio-therapy. Let Guru Maharaj rest nicely." So we also agreed. It was 6:30pm: Guru Maharaj woke up and asked for time and said, "I want to get down, and I want to go out and give class!" We said, "No! Today is your rest day, you have to recover from this weakness." Guru Maharaj agreed.

But, he said, "I want to go out - and take Gaura Nitai darshan, want to do Arati to Them, and chant my Gayathri." Then we got him ready and Guru Maharaj came and did Arati, Subhanga Govinda Prabhu lead Hare Krishna Maha Mantra kirtan, and Srivasa Pran Prabhu was playing Mridanga. And everyone was happy.

Vraja Gauranga Prabhu from Brisbane came with his future wife to take blessings from Guru Maharaj. Guru Maharaj spent some time with them. He planned his trip to Mayapur - in order to attend Vyasa-Puja and also take Guru Maharaj blessings for his marriage in Mayapur. But, somehow due to the change of venue of Vyasa-Puja festival - he couldn't come to Chennai. And even if he comes during Vyasa-Puja festival. He may not get time to talk with Guru Maharaj.

So, finally he is here to take Guru Maharaj's blessings and go back to Mayapur and get married. He is very senior Vaisnava from Brisbane. He was discussing with Guru Maharaj about the old days on Australia - morning walk, discussions etc. Then Guru Maharaj said, "I used to come to Australia - 4 times in a year."

Then Guru Maharaj gave them blessings for their grihastha life. And the mataji told Guru Maharaj about the Vyasa-Puja celebration that took place in New Govardhan. And Guru Maharaj watched the Guru Puja kirtan in their video. Then they offered a woollen sock for Guru Maharaj. And Guru Maharaj said, "In Chennai, it is too hot summer. But during winter I will use it." Like this Guru Maharaj spent his time with them. I hope that, in their life - they will never forget this 20mins. Then Guru Maharaj took his dinner and went to bed. (Personal Diary - Shyama Rasika Dasa)

4/AUG/2018 - Chennai, India

Guru Maharaja had a wonderful dream and he shared with us. And we recorded and this is the transcript.

Guru Maharaja: [...]Prabhupada somehow he introduced me to Bhakti Siddhanta Sarasvati Thakura and those experience is very ecstatic. I was shaking. Somehow he wanted his followers to be under one banner that's why Prabhupada had made the Bhaktivedanta Swami Charity Trust. We felt like this was the primary thing that he wanted and other things were more like general, his offering to the sampradaya. But this is something which his Spiritual master wanted and being in his association was very spiritually intense and I cant't forget that. I took it that if I get better I have to concentrate on these things some of the unity and diversity of the Sarasvata family. 

Maha Varaha Prabhu: "You felt that intensity? So you saw Bhakti Siddhanta in your dream. And you saw Prabhupada also?

Guru Maharaja: Yes!

Maha Varaha Prabhu: This is amazing. You said you had two dreams. Is this one of them or combined?

Guru Maharaja: The Bhakti Siddhanta and Prabhupada dream was yesterday late night. 

Second dream was this morning:

We were doing some outreach and some Program and two Vaishnavas were setting up an altar. Somehow with that altar there was a play on Rama-lila it was spoken by a monkey who was in the army of Hanuman. He said, "Monkeys don't have so much memory so they could just chant. We can use the method that have people chant even if they don't know what it means." But they can chant and bounce it off that and he was jumping and chanting Rama, chanting the Hare Krsna Mahamantra. His instruction was somehow use the mantra to get the people to chant even if they are not better than monkeys. Then I woke up.

Maha Varaha Prabhu: Nice. Interesting dream. That monkey was in the altar? 

Sometimes he was alive sometimes he was on a tower point. There were twenty five thirty people and they were listening. And i have seen they would go to the other altars after. 

Maha Varaha Prabhu: Fine. Nice dream. The first one is amazing. 

Syama Madhusudana Prabhu: So Bhakti Siddhanta was talking? 

Guru Maharaja: Yeah!

Maha Varaha Prabhu: So only three of you were there in the dream?

Guru Maharaja: Yes!