(04/AUG/2014) - Sri Mayapur Dham

Today morning I went to see Guru Maharaj and he was sleeping as in the night he is not getting sleep; and in the night time heavy wind and rain, so due to that sound he was not able sleep; as I heard from Night shift devotees. And the meeting started at morning 7 am.  Guru Maharaj joined in the meeting through video conferencing. I just did the arrangements. And he attended the whole meeting today from morning till 1 pm from his room. Then he took his lunch. And I had sometime to read out the answers to Guru Maharaj and only two devotees answered for the #18 th question. And Guru Maharaj said, "we should let the devotees to give some more time.  We will wait till they get into this."

Guru Maharaj said, "see how shining is Panchajanya Keshava's head. ..." And in my mind I thought, he also want me to shave up. But somehow I am not ready for it. I need lot more to surrender to do that... He didn't said that to me directly... But, I felt like that.

Then he took one hour rest and again started the meeting at 4pm. And continued till 7pm and went to temple for darshan. During darshan he met Radha Krishna Gaura pr (his disciple). He is vastu consultant. And he is doing vastu for many ISKCON temples. So, Guru Maharaj asked him to come and meet him in his residence.  And when he came he said to Guru Maharaj,  "You are looking too weak." Then Guru Maharaj showed his hand towards Maha Varaha Pr and the servants and said, "the are all making me to starve... So I am weak." I said, "This is treatment." "And it is recommended by doctors." Then Guru Maharaj went to take his dinner.

In the afternoon Janakiram pr was telling about the memory of Guru Maharaj, during the security department discussion. Guru Maharaj said, "We don't worry about paying more.money tol security; but we want the safety first. During the attack in 1980's the securities whoever there first they went and hide in the rooms and bathrooms; toilet. But our devotees went out to fight and protect ourselves. Like our Raghava Maharaj, bravely went and he got a hand bomb attack and he lost his one leg. So we want the securities who will stand in front." It is not only for Mayapur. In many of our ISKCON temples securities are must now. And Guru Maharaj wants everything to best in Mayapur.  But in Bengal things move too slow.

The day went like this very fast in his association. I am not fit to be near him. He suppose to be served by great devotees; sannyasis. But he is accepting my service out of his mercy that doesn't have any cause at all. Sometime I feel, I should not be here. But, due to selfishness,  for my own satisfaction; and want to enjoy his association. I here. But I have to overcome all these... And purely serve him from the heart. I don't know, when I will become. It is all depending on his mercy. He is always giving mercy, but my heart is having lot of holes in that. - ( Shyama Rasika Dasa - Personal Diary )