(24/JUL/2014)
- Sri Mayapur, India
Today as usual afternoon 1:30pm reached
Guru Maharaj room and took his darshan. Actually, last night Guru Maharaj
was too tired and I was very much upset with him, and argued with him for his
condition; and I felt so bad to see him too tired. So I thought, I won't
come to see him. And he gave question number 14 while going for darshan; he
dictated half. Second part of that question I didn't ask. And I was upset. And
I didn't go to see him today morning even. But I felt so bad. "What am I
doing? What is the use of argument; and being away from him. I should not! What
a foolishness. I should do more service to him and assist him to get out of
this condition." And I was not able to work in archives; thinking of this.
Then when I reached; I didn't enter into his room.
After lunch, he went to bathroom.
So I went to assist. That time also he didn't speak with me. I also didn't
speak anything. I asked him; how are you? He said, "better". But he
was tired. After his morning exercise in pool; and he took deitie darshan. I
just asked forgiveness in my mind.
Then, he said, "You don't want
mercy?" I said, "Guru Maharaj!!!" He said, "yo didn't
complete the question last night." Then I said, "yes! It is a
mistake." Then we put him on bed for his afternoon nap.
And I just waited in his room. Taking
care of him. He went to bed at 3:30pm and we woke him up by 7:30pm. He was
terribly tried after the pool exercise. And we try to wake him by at 6:00pm.
But he was in deep sleep. Then we left him to sleep.
He got up and Maha Varaha Pr, and many
servants were around his bed. Then Guru Maharaj thought it is morning 7:30am.
Then we said no Guru Maharaj it is evening. Then Maha Varaha pr also said, it
happens to me also, sometime.
Maha Varaha Pr informed about the
latest air plane crash in Africa. And he said, "Malaysia airlines got
crashed, Taiwan one air plane crash, and now in Africa and people are dying. I
think, because you are not flying; it is all happening..." Guru Maharaj
was shaking his hand high and said, "yes! We should start our
travel.." Everyone started laughing...
Then Isvaku Prabhu was discussing about
Congreagstion preaching, and some doubt on Namahatta... Then after that,
Guru Maharaj had a meeting with Sridham pr and Ekanath Gaura Pr on TOVP
exhibits. Then Guru Maharaj took his dinner and again went to toilet. I was
with him.
I asked him, "please forgive me
for all the offenses. As I was not able to see you looking so tired; I started
to speak in immature way." Then immediately Guru Maharaj sat straight and
lifted his head upward. And looked at me. I asked, "Can I record the
second half of the question?" He said, "yes!" He gave the
question... and at the end he asked, "what do you think about this
question?" I said, "You know the trick to make people mad..."
Then he started to laugh.
And then, he stared to talk to me as
usual. And I asked him, repeatedly forgiveness. I thought inside my mind even
out of love, I should not make offense to thus personality. He is my Guru...
Then he came back to his room and
chanted his Gayathri. And went to bed at 10:40pm. And was hearing Srimad
Bhagavatam, Jaya Radha Krishna Pr was reading to Guru Maharaj from 5th
canto. And it was about different rivers. Guru Maharaj was asking lot of
definitions and he was searching and telling to Guru Maharaj. Then I left Guru
Maharaj room paying me obeisances. Always want to be near him.
- ( Shyama
Rasika Dasa - Personal Diary )
